It is, without a doubt, the most beautiful day of the Spring season so far. It is warm, almost hot actually, and sunny with a slight breeze. Never mind that it could still snow again; the crocus and miniature iris don't seem to be too worried about it, so why should we?
Today is an unusual day because it is just my mother and I at the house. Many things have occurred in order for this situation to be, not many of them good. But still, I can't help but appreciate what is, no matter how it came about. It's so quiet and peaceful without everyone crowding into this little house, six or seven cigarettes being smoked at once, legs to step over everywhere you walk, shoes left to trip on, pee on the toilet seat, and always at least one person bitching about something. None of it, we have none of it today. Or tomorrow, or the next day....and then back to the same old.
I have yet to clearly explain why there was this trip to Virginia to be made in the first place. Oh, before I really get into things I should mention that I may have to run off abruptly as my Mom and I are heading to the mall shortly to return some china she bought and replace some and buy some more, I think. I'm just being dragged along for the ride. I better get some good lunch out of this, she said we could go to Legal Seafood, yummy, she better keep her word. If I have to lug in the boxes of wrong china, stand there and talk about china, and then lug out the new china, I should get a lobster roll for lunch, right? Sorry, I know I sound bratty and spoiled when I write that kind of thing. But it should be known that I really don't like malls, or shopping very much for that matter. I love clothes, and if I had a lot of money I would buy a ton of clothes. But I would go alone and have the people working at the stores help me with decisions, and get it done, bing, bam! My Mom loves to wander around and buy frivolous things and it drives me crazy.
But I have to go because in addition to my brother, Scooter, having to be in court in Virginia on Monday, my sister Lily has finally been asked to leave the house. And, of course, my Mom is all torn up and depressed over it. For some bizarre reason, Lily has always been my Mom's favorite. I know every parent says they don't have favorites, but they do, they're only human, they can't even help it. Some people, related or not, just get along better than others. Lily and my Mom are really similar, so it's not really surprising that they get on better than her and I. And she just has a totally different relationship with my brothers because they are boys. As far as mother/daughter time goes, she'd rather be spending it with Lily. That's okay, I've definitely begun to accept it over the years. I sort of think I know why, so it makes it easier to accept. I don't just let her buy whatever she thinks about wanting whenever, I'll force her to consider reality, and she hates that. I'm just a drag to her, I think, because we're so different. I'd rather hang out outside and drink beer or wine, barbecue, listen to music, go to the beach and smoke weed or something and my Mom just doesn't get it. It's cool though, I'm trying to be chill and just do the stuff she likes while I'm here. She won't be around forever, so if I were to be an ass and not spend time with her now, I would definitely regret it when she isn't here to spend time with. It sucks to think about, but it's true. I really wish I had spent more time with my grandmother and I don't want to feel the same about my parents. Although getting through to my father, never mind spending physical time with him, is quite interesting, to say the least.
Anyhow, I love my Mom, no matter how different we are, or how much I disapprove of the way she goes about life, or the way she deals with Lily; I have to go do some lame stuff so she doesn't freak out even worse about my sister. My sister, who by the way, didn't just get kicked out on her ass like she probably deserved. No, she is being put up in a hotel for the next two months while she finishes her student teaching and the last few classes she needs to graduate. And then, in two months time, she is supposed to have decided on a place to go next. I'm hoping that going to a shrink with my mom and my siblings will help make that happen. My Mom has a tendency to give in and give everyone a million and one chances that they don't deserve. I can totally see her letting Lily move back in after school is over. But that would negate all the progress made by having her out for these two months. We deserve to have a sane, calm existence. And she makes that impossible. Two months is just enough time to begin to feel normal again. To be able to sleep maybe. To get the screaming out of our heads. To get used to some kind of routine without having to constantly worry about when the next outburst will be. Then we deserve to have the time to try to accomplish something. Because of Lily and her craziness, the lives of four other people have been put on hold in a lot of ways. Of course, Lily is not solely to blame. We all made our own choices and my parents did a lot of damage all on their own. But as we became older, it was Lily and her insanity that has made life really hard. So to get rid of her, just to live in peace, my Mom has to pay for a weekly hotel room for her to stay in......oh, I'll have to finish later because Mom is ready.......I'll be back later, I hope...unless I die in the china store.