Friday, March 2, 2012

Hello Again!

Hey, I bet everyone thought I was dead. Maybe you wondered if I overdosed, or got into a car accident. Nope. I just haven't had the time or inclination to get my lazy ass to a computer.

A lot has transpired.

I'm living in Worcester, Massachusetts with my new boyfriend who I'm really super in love with. And trust me, love is the only thing worth living in a place like Worcester for. This is one hell of a grimy city. Assuming I can maintain some sort of posting stability I'll have plenty to write about regarding the shit that goes on in this town. I already have quite a few shockers hidden in the corners of my mind.
The way in which I met my current man is somewhat unconventional and I'm sort of embarrassed to explain how it came about because I know people will judge me. Disclosing the details of our meeting is something I'll have to think about. But all in all I believe it was meant to be. I've never met anyone who makes me feel so sure of myself. I spent so long with someone who wasn't my match, who had a knack for making me feel ugly and undesirable. My new man makes me feel perfect, all the time. I can be unshaved, unshowered and grumpy and he still tells me I'm so beautiful to him. So all the difficult moments of the past year have been worth it since they led me to my soul mate.

4 comments:

Jeannie said...

So good to see you back! You sound very happy - not frustrated like you were with your mother and siblings. I hope you get to a computer often enough to get us updated.

I understand not wanting to divulge how you met if it puts you in what some would think as a bad light. When people ask, I tell the truth that my husband picked me up in a bar - and I laugh. I really don't care what they think. Doesn't really matter how it started - we're still together. I'm so happy for you that he treats you well. Your situation before was just not good.

I look forward to seeing more of you.

Maureen said...

Nellie, I am so glad you are ok. I figured you were, never the less, addicts stay hidden at times. When we want to hide that is.
Great to hear you have found your soul mate. Write when you can. Are you still on the done?
Love,
Maureen

Nellie said...

Jeannie,
I'm so happy that you are still around and remember me and my craziness. It's so nice to reconnect. I can't wait to check in with everyone and see what you guys are up to. I have access to an extra computer that belongs to my roommate. He says I can use it whenever I wish but people don't always mean what they say. Maybe he didn't realize when he offered that "whenever I wish" would mean everyday! Of course I'll be as considerate as possible and there's always the library computers if all else fails. Anyhow, I look forward to seeing/hearing a lot more of you too. Happy Almost Spring!

Love Nellie

Maureen,
I'm glad to be back and connect with all the support I've always found through blogging. It's so great to get to communicate with other people who understand some of the stuff I deal with as an addict (sometimes in recovery, sometimes not;)). I guess I have been hiding to some extent because I could have gotten to a computer if I had really had the urge. I just had so much happening it was all I could do to simply get through the day. But things are looking brighter lately and I have the peace of mind to allow myself to put my thoughts out there again. Alas, I am not on methadone anymore. It's kind of a long story though. I'm sure I'll blab it all out through my posts very soon. So I'll try to update the status of my using asap. A lot has gone on lately and I'm not exactly proud of it all. But we all have our moments I suppose.
Either way, it's great to hear from you and I hope I hear more from you as long as I stick around. Happy Almost Spring to you as well!

Love, Nellie

Susie said...

I just started reading your blog, and find it really interesting. One question - do you have a thick accent? Should I be reading your words with the lazy-R's at the end? I'm in Boston and love the thick accents. My BF has one of the throaty South Shore ones. Too bad about Worceter :-( It's a shit hole out there. Your man must be really awesome!

I started a blog last year, "diary of a chronic relapser" detailing the in's and out's of addiction and suboxone. I like reading about other bloggers daily struggles. It makes me feel not so alone. Thanks for posting.

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