Where should I even begin? I'm slightly embarrassed to even put down in writing the events which have occurred over the past few weeks. My last post I wrote about how I was so happy and I had this great and wonderful new boyfriend who was my soul mate. I wrote that he made me feel so perfect and sure of myself and blah, blah sugar-coated bullshit blah. Because as it has turned out, when the shit hit the fan, he just couldn't maintain it. But let me explain. It's not like he's suddenly telling me I'm a fat, ugly, worthless piece of shit. No, no, not at all. In fact, he claims he loves me to death, wants to marry me and have a baby.....but the kicker is he's writing me all this shit from jail. Yup, that's right, he's back in stupid jail just like I said would happen if he didn't stop doing stupid shit.

Obviously I knew exactly what he was doing and often would be right there with him even though I didn't agree with what he was doing. He even got me to do some stupid shit. And all the while I was doing it I was telling him how much I didn't want to and it was stressing me out and I hated doing things so illegal because I've never been to real jail and don't ever want to go. I really couldn't understand why someone who spent three years behind bars for larceny would do the exact same thing he went in for the first time, knowing full well what the consequences could be.

And that's what's really pissing me off. He knew full well that he could end up back in jail, I kept telling him every day so it's not like he could forget it. And now that he's there he's acting like he's so shocked and tormented. Well, what the fuck man? What did he really expect? I'm sure everyone reading this is so curious about what landed him back in the slammer. I'm not really sure it's such a great idea to totally spill the beans because it could seriously incriminate me and what if some sleazy rat fink of a Worcester cop is reading this and uses it against me in court. Let's just say we were stealing things. I can't say from where, or when, or how. I would like to stress that it was never, ever from people, like friends, family, or even strangers. It was always from huge, heartless corporations and so it's easy for me to consider that a victimless crime. And I really don't want to hear some shit about how us stealing makes everyone a victim because it raises the prices for all consumers and blah, blah, blah. Fuck that. Those companies allot a certain amount of loss due to theft, so someone needs to help them fulfill those numbers. Besides those companies, like, say Walmart or Target (not that I'm saying I ever went to those particular stores, but just as an example let's use them) have all their products manufactured overseas often by child laborers....creating God knows how many victims in those children and their families who are working in unsafe conditions for unfair wages and being totally manipulated and taken advantage of. Can anyone really say that what those companies do to maintain huge profits is less of a crime than stealing a couple hundred dollars worth of crap off their shelves? Then you have to consider the victims those companies create within our own country, our own communities. Think about how many small business owners are no longer functioning due to superstores knocking all competition out of the water. Okay, I know stealing is not okay. And I'd really rather not steal but sometimes it seemed like the only option and I would do it or participate in him doing it against all my better judgement. And of course, look where it has landed us.