Hazy Tuesday

Today I am happy. Not every day is like that, so I think I should really try to savor it. The dreaded brothers are at work, so there is no bitching, no messes, no pee on the toilet seat, or ashes in the sink. At least for a few more blessed hours, I hope. I hope the rain holds off so I can have a few more peaceful, quiet, happy hours. Even my Mom is still away at the moment, and Mikey is off at his buddy's house. I know I would probably get lonely, very lonely if I were to be all alone like this all the time. But I am really and truly all alone so infrequently that when I do have a solitary moment I cherish it.

Took the dogs for a good walk up at Wagon Hill Farm on Route 4, on the way to the University of New Hampshire. It's a gorgeous area, right on the bay, with a mix of woods and fields rolling down to meet the marsh. There is generally a breeze coming off the water, cutting the humidity which is common this time of year. Right this minute is no exception. The best part of the location, for me, is that it is not clearly marked and therefore not ever too populated. My dogs are still terrors; they are getting better, just very slowly. I try to avoid people, which only serves to draw out the problem. But it makes me so tense when they are all barking and snarling and jumping at passers by. I keep them on harnesses that strap around their neck and chest so I have total control over them going anywhere. But still, they jump in the air and spin in circles, howling and shrieking almost, I swear. Today, though, they didn't bark at the man in the tollbooth which is a MAJOR accomplishment for us. Generally I have to practically throw the money at them and take off. But today I stopped long enough for him to remark about the dogs and even give me treats for them. It was amazing. I'm trying to be a better pack leader, but I'm not a dog so I think I give mixed messages sometimes. But it's getting better.

Today I went in a different direction than I normally take. And it was awesome. I found a small, hidden beach with oak trees hanging over mini bluffs. At high tide you could sit in the branches which dip low over the water and feel the waves with your feet. I suppose you could even swim there. A beach on the other side of the trails is designated for swimming, but I generally prefer to be alone. And it's not often you can find a beach in the summer where dogs can run around. It was kind of magical. The property which is public runs alongside a private home and grounds. I can't imagine, well, sure I can, living in a place like that. In fact, I think I would be quite good at being very wealthy. I would really appreciate it. The whole public trail system, the whole farm I walk at, they have the equivalent all to themselves. And I have never seen a soul on any of those magnificent properties which rim the bay.

I had a friend, growing up, who lived in a mansion in Manchester-by-the-Sea. That's the actual name of the town. It's a pretty well off community on the North Shore, south of Gloucester. A lot of people I went to boarding school with were very rich, so I had a momentary glimpse into that lifestyle as a teenager. I think the distaste I eventually developed for them tainted my understanding of money in general for a very long time. It was like I rejected everything to do with having money because I thought everyone who was rich was a bad person. I know that that is not necessarily true, now. Often, maybe, but not always. Anyway, my point was to be that looking at the Manchester bay from the inside of the mansion is not very different from looking at the Portsmouth bay from the woods. Either way, for me, it is quiet and peaceful and I don't own any of it.

Anyhow, I have to get a move on. My mom is coming home in the morning and she will be much easier to get along with if I get a few more of her list items accomplished. I got some things done but it's hard when my brothers are around all weekend. And Sam had his friends all hanging around too. So I'm going to bust ass today before it starts raining. It is in my own favor to do so. Hope everyone out there has a safe and happy day. Peace.