Monday, July 6, 2009

Wow, I have such a hard time doing so many things when I have no weed to speak of. Eating and sleeping are my main concerns. I'm hungry, I'm tired, but for the life of me I cannot enjoy either. My mind is consumed by the thought of wanting to smoke. Even shitty weed would be better than nothing. I'm kicking myself for not bringing those roaches w/me. What was I thinking? I guess I thought all the m-done I took would be a proper substitute for the night. I thought I took enough to be slightly blasted for the night, but apparently not. That's the tricky thing about that stuff, it's easy to get accustomed to. I mean, I'm fine, good enough, not sick but it's hardly the place in which I am content.

It's bullshit that it's legal to smoke cigs but not weed. Seriously. I get so angry at times like this when I should be able to go to the store and buy buds for a reasonable price. If I had to buy my bud like most people I think I would go crazy. Luckily it is rare for me to be out. People would be in danger if I had to go through this regularly. Not cuz I would steal or hurt people, I'd just be a nasty bitch all the time instead of just sometimes.

I work at a trucking company and probably needless to say, we (me and the girl who works opposite me) get hit on all the time. And although it is always flattering to receive a compliment, most of these guys are much older than me and not generally the most attractive dudes. Of course, I'm always polite but it makes me really anxious and I start to blush and perspire, really, no matter what they say or who it is. I don't know what's wrong w/me. There's one guy who is attractive but older than me and he's always inviting me to go live w/him. He's really nice but it's kind of weird. And he was just here and I was trying to do my job and spilled my coffee all over all my paperwork. Awesome.


Jeannie said...

I don't know how you function if you are high all the time. Just smoking a little too much weed messes me up so I can't get my work done. Does this pass? My daughter said when she smoked all the time, going without didn't feel right but I can't imagine getting to that point.

As for getting a little anxious with the guys hitting on you all the time - it can be a little threatening having that much interested testosterone around - you just don't know if one of them might snap some time.

Nellie said...

Jeannie - It takes a little while of regular smoking but it inevitably happens to us all. A tolerance builds up and you get used to your body being in a certain state. Just like with coffee or cigarettes. You know how crappy you'd feel if you drink coffee everyday and then one day you don't? The headaches, bad mood, lack of energy, etc. Same w/weed. But I don't think that's neccessarily a bad thing. I mean, same thing happens with sugar, or tea, or even vitamin supplement, you know? As far as I'm concerned, herns were put on the planet for us to ease the pain of existence and heal ourselves.

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