Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Life Happens

Finally the rain has stopped falling, and the sun is out. It's soggy as oatmeal out there still, but I'm glad it's beginning to dry up. I usually enjoy the rain, the dark days, the slower pace it seems to bring; but for some reason, this latest rain spell made me feel somewhat depressed or something. I couldn't get the fire to burn well in the fireplace because all our wood got wet and a draft was coming down the chimney, along with some rain drip, and everything felt wet and raw.

I did manage to get part of the front lawn raked before the rain, but I have a lot left to finish and I can't wait to get started. I would like to have the whole thing done before my Mom gets back from her latest trip. She spends a lot more time away from here than she spends here. I'm not really sure why she keeps this house except that I think she wants a place of her own in case things don't work out where she is. Maybe she also feels like she can't sell this house because then where would we all live. It's not really her problem to provide living quarters for a bunch of adults, but it's pretty nice to have the option to live here, rather than rent some over-priced, crappy apartment. Between all of us, we should be able to pay most of the bills if everyone were to contribute. But I'm not so sure I want to involve myself in that kind of hassle, arguing with them over who owes what every month. Then I'd be forced to pay it myself if they didn't hand over their share. I'm not sure it's worth it, but I don't have to decide today, so no point in stressing over it. I have enough to worry about without adding things that don't matter today.

My brother, the older of the two, spent part of his weekend in New York again with his new girlfriend. Only this time she was sick, and she passed it to him, and he's been lying all over the house moaning and groaning and being snappy with everyone, and now we are all beginning to feel unwell. So I'm going to make homemade chicken soup tonight, with a lot of fresh garlic, and some popovers or something, and hopefully that will help bolster our immune systems. I should also get some of that airborne stuff that you're supposed to take as soon as you think you may be sick. I hate, hate, hate getting sick. I feel so useless and icky. I AM useless, and nothing gets done and it makes me feel sticky and smelly. Yuk! I really hope I don't get it. Of course, we all could simply be a group of hypochondriacs and we just think we're sick because Scooter says he's sick. Maybe he's just crashing from using too many drugs and claiming "sick" to get away with it. Who knows? We're having chicken soup either way.

I'm trying to set up a host dosing at a clinic in Westport, CT so I can help my Mom this weekend at the furniture/fabric store she runs with her boyfriend. She needs help setting up an eBay account and learning how to use the computer. So I figured I would go down there to help her out with some stuff for the weekend to try to make up for some of the help she's given us lately. I do a lot around the house but she generally pays my brothers to go down there, so I know they need the help. Of course I don't expect her to pay me because I owe her a lot more than I could make in a weekend no matter what. But the clinic in Norwalk, I guess, is having an issue with my non take-home status. Because I refuse to stop smoking weed, I don't get take-homes. I have to drive to the clinic everyday to get my dose. That is my choice. I smoke weed and I accept the consequences of doing so in our society, in the current climate which does not entirely accept the smoking of marijuana. Don't I have the right to believe that some laws are not logical? Or have, perhaps, been designed to benefit a certain sector of the business world and are held in place by financial pressure from big business and the governments that work hand in hand to promote such underhanded tactics. Don't I have the right to argue against laws which seem to cause more harm than good to our society? I think I not only have a right, but I have a responsibility to rage against the machine.......

.....And basically, this is where I was in my thought process when life happened today and I was forced to carry on with the things nobody wants to do but everyone (almost) has to do. Brothers, roommates, mothers, everyone needs me to do something for them. As usual. So first I needed a shower, then to the bank, grocery store, home, and I've already made mini mango tarts, cupcakes, and homemade chicken soup. I'm awesome. Especially for someone raising a family who never had kids or got married. I received an instant family.


Jeannie said...

Do they do drug tests? If not, it seems you could just lie and get the take home. I don't understand the reasoning behind it. Weed is nothing like heroin. Yes it's illegal and a drug but alcohol was illegal at one time too. Do they care if you have a glass of wine?

I think you have a really great attitude toward helping your Mom in return for her help. It's a wonder the others don't see your example (how your sister thinks you do nothing is beyond me). I bet they don't even appreciate the homemade meals and baking. Ingrates.

Nellie said...

Jeannie - I love hearing from you. You make me feel so justified. They really don't appreciate the homemade meals at all. I think they don't even understand why I do it. I think they think cooking IS doing nothing. My sister was just yelling at my Mom the other week saying things like, "I bet you didn't even really graduate from college at all. Do you even have a diploma? And look at you, all you are is a housewife, a boring, stupid, housewife." It made me so upset. And my Mom was actually going to go online and prove to her that she did graduate from Boston University. And I was like, "Mom, do you really feel like you need to prove that to her? You know that you graduated, had a career, and then raised children only to go on and run a furniture company too. Why do you care what she thinks?" As if raising children isn't the hardest, most important job in the entire world. It's why men will always be just a little bit jealous of women, because even though they think we all want their penises, they really all want our wombs and our connection to our offspring. Sorry guys, we didn't design the system.

As far as the clinic and the take-homes go, they DO drug test us. And it's really humiliating, being a grown woman and having to pee in a cup to satisfy absurd rules. What's really annoying to me is that they could test us with oral mouth strips. Those just get put against the sides of the mouth for two minutes and sent out. It's much less demeaning in my book, not to mention much, much more sanitary. In fact, I think I'll write a more in depth post about it today. Thanks for the inspiration!

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