Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Lost And Lame.....Floating Around Again....

Just an update and explanation as to why it's been so long since my last post. I was hoping to let everyone know beforehand that I couldn't deal with the physical symptoms of coming off the methadone so fast and was at rehab for the last week. I guess it's Wednesday here in the states and I got out on Monday and went in on a Monday so I was there for a week. But just in case anyone is thinking of doing what I did - DON'T! They won't keep you there long enough to detox unless you are like a billionaire and can pay out of pocket to go to Betty Ford or something. So basically I came out more sick than I went in and then there was a snowstorm here and all my aftercare appointments cancelled on me.... And long story short I'm basically only writing this post because I'm waiting for the only person I know in this towm to answer his fucking door so I can get high. Yeah, I know I suck, I'm weak and broken and I can't appologize or admit I was wrong enough for anyone in my life. I am getting back on the methadone program but I can't get in until Friday. This is like the most complaining I think I've done on this blog since I started. I'm just so lost and fucking confused and don't know what to do. My "boyfriend" who I may as well just call my roomate, and I, hate each other at this point. I hate where I live, what I do, how the world is and that is that. I feel like such a failure and loser. Whatever, that's the story, that's where I've been. I'll start posting regularly again soon. I have to go back to work on Sunday night, I just didn't want everyone to think that I fell off the face of the planet.


Anonymous said...

Hang in there--you may be one of those who may need long term MMT, due to chemical imbalances in the brain. There is no reason to feel ashamed or bad because you require medication.

JP said...

I hope things worked out for you to the best they could :-\

I don't understand why these programs are more focused on people's wallets than actually helping them. It disgusts me.

VV is the shit

VV is the shit
We all have to love VV