Lost And Lame.....Floating Around Again....

Just an update and explanation as to why it's been so long since my last post. I was hoping to let everyone know beforehand that I couldn't deal with the physical symptoms of coming off the methadone so fast and was at rehab for the last week. I guess it's Wednesday here in the states and I got out on Monday and went in on a Monday so I was there for a week. But just in case anyone is thinking of doing what I did - DON'T! They won't keep you there long enough to detox unless you are like a billionaire and can pay out of pocket to go to Betty Ford or something. So basically I came out more sick than I went in and then there was a snowstorm here and all my aftercare appointments cancelled on me.... And long story short I'm basically only writing this post because I'm waiting for the only person I know in this towm to answer his fucking door so I can get high. Yeah, I know I suck, I'm weak and broken and I can't appologize or admit I was wrong enough for anyone in my life. I am getting back on the methadone program but I can't get in until Friday. This is like the most complaining I think I've done on this blog since I started. I'm just so lost and fucking confused and don't know what to do. My "boyfriend" who I may as well just call my roomate, and I, hate each other at this point. I hate where I live, what I do, how the world is and that is that. I feel like such a failure and loser. Whatever, that's the story, that's where I've been. I'll start posting regularly again soon. I have to go back to work on Sunday night, I just didn't want everyone to think that I fell off the face of the planet.